St Augustine's Prayer for the Gift of Tears
O Lord Christ, Word of the Father, Who came into this world to save sinners, I beseech You, by the innermost depths of Your mercy, cleanse my soul, perfect my actions, put in order my manner of life, take from me what is harmful to me, and what displeases You. Grant me what You know is pleasing to You, and profitable to me. Who but You alone can make clean what was conceived of unclean seed?
You art the Omnipotent God, Infinite in mercy, Who make sinners just, and give life to the dead; Who changes sinners, and they are sinners no more? Take from me therefore whatever is displeasing to You; for Your eyes can see my manifold imperfections.
Stretch forth, I beseech You, the hand of Your mercy, and take from me whatever in me offends the eyes of Your goodness. In Your hands, O Lord, are my health and my infirmity. Preserve me in the one; heal me in the other. Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed, save me, and I shall be saved: You Who does heal the sick, and preserve those who are healed, You Who by Your nod alone does renew what is ruined and fallen. For if You will sow good seed in Your field, there is need also to pluck from it the thorns of my sins by the hands of Your mercy.
Most sweet, most kind, most loving, most dear, most precious, most desired, most lovable, most beautiful, pour out into my breast, I beg of You, the fullness of Your sweetness and charity, so that I shall not think of or desire what is carnal or earthly, but rather love You alone, keep You alone within my heart, and upon my lips.
Write with Your finger upon my heart the precious remembrance of Your sweet name, that no forgetfulness may ever from there erase it. Write Your will and Your law upon the tables of my heart, that always and everywhere I may have You and Your holy precepts before my eyes, O Lord of unending sweetness. Inflame my soul with the fire You didst cast upon the earth, and willed it be enkindled (Luke. xii. 49), so that with welling tears I may offer You daily the sacrifice of an afflicted spirit, and of a contrite heart (Pssalm 51).
Sweet Jesus, O good Jesus, since I long for it, and implore it of You with my whole soul, grant me Your chaste and holy love, that it may fill me, hold me, possess me, completely. And grant me that visible sign of Your love, a cleansing ever flowing fountain of tears, that these tears may also bear witness to Your love in me, that they may show, that they may tell, how much my soul doth love You: that in the too great sweetness of Your love it cannot withhold its tears.
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I remember, O Lord, that good woman of whom Scripture speaks, who came to Your House to implore of You a son, that after her prayers and tears her face was no longer changed (1 Samuel 1:18). But remembering her great virtue, her great constancy, I am afflicted with grief, overcome with shame: for I behold my miserable self lying prone upon the ground.
For if she so wept, and persevered in weeping, this woman who sought a son, how should not that soul lament, and cease not lamenting, which loves and desires God, and desires to come to Him; how it should not weep and mourn, day and night, loving only Christ? (Psalm xli. 4.) Look upon me, and have pity upon me, for the griefs of my heart are multiplied.
Grant me Your heavenly consolation, and despise not this sinful soul for which also You didst die? Grant me, I beseech You, in Your love, the inward tears that can dissolve the chains of my sins, and fill my soul for ever with Your heavenly delight: so that I may merit to obtain, if not together with Your true and perfect monks, whose steps I am unable to imitate, then at least with Your devoted women, some little place within Your kingdom?
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There comes also to my mind the wondrous devotion of another woman, who with pious love sought You, lying in Your tomb; who when Your disciples departed from the tomb did not depart from it, but sad and grieving sat there, and long and sorely wept, and getting up again, in tears, searched with anxious eyes in every corner of the tomb, that somewhere she might see Him Whom she looked for with such fervent longing.
Once and again had she entered and seen the tomb, but there is never enough to the soul that loves: for the crown of a good work is perseverance. And because she loved more than the others, and loving wept, and weeping sought, and seeking persevered, so did she merit to be the first of them all to find You, to see You, to speak with You (John xx. 11-17). And not this only, but the first to tell the Disciples themselves of Your glorious Resurrection; You commanding her, and gently instructing her: Go, tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, where they shall see me (Matthew. xxviii. 10).
If she then so wept, and continued weeping, the woman who looked for the Living with the dead, who with the hand of faith touched You not, how should not that soul mourn, and cease not from mourning, which believes in her heart, and confesses with her lips, that You art her Redeemer, ruling from heaven, and reigning everywhere? How ought not such a soul both weep and mourn, which loves You with all its heart, and longs with all its being to see You!
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O Sole Refuge and Sole Hope of the unhappy, to Whom we can never pray without hope of mercy, for Your sake, and for Your Holy Name’s sake, grant me this grace, that as often as I think of You, speak of You, write of You, read of You, preach of You, that as often as I remember You, stand before You, offer You sacrifice, prayers and praise, so often may I weep, the tears welling sweetly and abundantly in Your sight, so that tears may be my bread by day and night.
For You, King of Glory, and Teacher of all virtue, by word and by example, has taught us to weep and to mourn, saying: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. You did weep for Your dead friend, and You did weep over the city that was to perish (John. xi. 35). I beseech You, O Good Jesus, through these most blessed tears, and through all Your tenderness, by which You did wondrously come to our aid who were lost, grant me this grace of tears my soul so longs for, and now begs of You. For without Your gift of it I cannot possess it.
By Your Holy Spirit Who softens the hard hearts of sinners, and moves them to tears, grant me the grace of tears, as You did grant it to my fathers, in whose steps I should follow: that I may bewail my whole life, as they bewailed themselves by day and night. By their prayers and merits who have pleased You, and most faithfully served You, have mercy on me Your most pitiful and unworthy our servant, and grant me the gift of tears. Water me from above, and water me from below, that day and night tears may be my bread.
May I become in Your sight, O my God, a sacrifice, rich and full of marrow, through the fires of Your compunction. May I be wholly consumed on the altar of my own heart, and may I as a most acceptable holocaust, be received by You as an odour of sweetness.
Grant me a strengthening fountain, a clear fountain, in which this defiled holocaust may be continuously washed. For tough by the help of lily grace I have offered myself wholly to You, yet in many things I daily offend You, because of my great weakness. Grant to me, therefore, this gift of tears, O blessed and Lovable God, especially because of the great sweetness of Your love, and also for a remembrance of Your mercies.
Prepare this table before the face of Your servant, and grant me this power with regard to it, that as often as I will I may be filled from it. Grant me, in Your kindness and Your goodness, that this Your chalice (Psalm xxii), so good and so inebriating, may quench my thirst. Let my spirit long for You; let my soul burn with Your love, forgetful of all vanity and of all misery.
Hear me, O My God; hear me, O light of my eyes, hear what I ask of You; and grant that I may ask of You what You will hear. Kind and gentle Lord, be not hard to me, because of my sins, but because of Your own goodness receive the prayers of Your servant, and grant me the answer to my prayer, the answer to my desire, through the prayers and merits of my Lady, Mary Virgin, and of all the Saints. Amen.